It's been a while...but nothing's changed ;)

So....I only have one shift left at my current store before transferring back to my old one (I have to say, I will never moan about working there again) and it seems fitting to write one last mega rant :) Customers continue to piss me off on a daily basis, for example;


1) Bitch, it says "wait to be called" ...If I HAVEN'T called you over, do NOT expect me to serve you until I've finished what I was doing. You can stand there, tutting, giving me evils, whatever. I really do not give a shit. If I need to put a pay out through, put some change in the till so I can serve you fuckers or just get some more bags you are gonna wait in the line and not complain about it.


2) Express Tills, the clue's in the title. Don't come to my till with a shit load of items and expect me to pack them all nicely for you. If you're too dumbass, or just too lazy, to walk over to the main tills where they actually have the room to serve you then all your items are just getting chucked in a bag and you can deal with it.


3) How about, instead of coming to the till and saying "I don't want this, this or this...." etc etc you just don't pick the items up in the 1st place?! Now someone else has to go and put it all back. 


4) If you went on holiday somewhere, it's common sense that you'd at least learn the basics before going away. Which makes me wonder how the fuck some people live in this country when they don't know enough English to put together a coherent sentence. You don't just say "bag", you say "can I have a bag, please?" or else I'm just gonna look at you blankly and pretend I have no idea what you're 'trying' to ask for until you work out some manners.


4 cont.) Manners cost nothing. Your items do. So, if you want them packed nicely and undamaged use some manners. And if you want me to do something for you, bitch you're gonna ask politely.


5) Yes I work in retail, but I also go to Uni. And I also have a life. My world doesn't revolve around work so if we're doing tannoy announcements that state that the store is either closing shortly, or we're shut, you better get your fuckin arse to my till cos I aint hanging around to serve you. And if you're one of the twats that seems to think you can take your time once you finally get to my till you're very much mistaken, I will be outright rude to you. Don't try and start up a conversation, don't suddenly decide you need to grab something else, don't do a price query, don't try and return something when the help desk has shut an hr before, don't take ages counting your change and don't hover about waiting to be thrown out. Bitch I have a home to go!


6) Chewing gum. Yeah it's great that you're making an effort to not have smelly breath, but purlease. Shut your goddamn mouth when you chew, I do not need to see it. Oh, and if you're just a smelly person in general, please avoid coming to my till and don't even try to talk to me cos I'll want you gone asap.


7) Yeah I get it, it's hot. We're in fucking summer, what do you expect?! Don't moan to me about how hot the store is when you've come in through choice and don't have to spend a prolonged period of time in here. I'm stuck here for 7/8hrs with a broken air-con...do you really think I care that you're too hot whilst enjoying yourself and I'm stuck at work?!


8) Couples - Aww, so sweet that you're all loved up. But again, I do not need to see it. It really disgusts me when chavvy couples, covered in hickies, stand there tonguing each other while I'm trying to serve them. And when you're buying condoms, a cock ring and headache tablets (true story) don't give me a dirty look.


9)Me: "Do you want cashback?"
Customer: "Yes"
Me: "...?"
Well how much do you fuckin want then? And how can you not know what cashback is?!


10) Don't pay for a bar of chocolate with a £20note when I can clearly see that you have more than enough change in your purse. -.-


11) So, a little while back now I was hovering about, doing jobs like baskets/trolleys/stock etc when I was asked to go get a bag of dog treats as the one the customer had picked up was split. Now, I don't mind. I was doing my co-worker a favour. But it isn't my fault if you picked up the last one stupid bitch, and if I take you round to the help desk for a refund and you're too rude to even say one word to me then don't expect me  to push you to the front of the queue. This bitch was really fucking rude, and I told her she'd have to wait in the queue to be served. After I walked away she proceeded to stick her head round the corner and shout at me "well aren't you gonna do it?!" I replied "no, I can't as I'm not a supervisor. That's why I told you to wait in the queue." She then stormed past me, swearing about me and the customer service. I would've LOVED to have stormed out after her and told her to say it to my fucking face, but unfortunately I need this job -.-


12) One thing that really fucks me off is when customers give you a dirty look if you dare to stop for a sip of water or talk to your co-workers, oh sorry, didn't realise I was a robot who has no human needs. Dick.


13) The highlight of my last shift was having a full blown argument with a customer...over....a bag -.- She just didn't seem to understand that as she so obviously didn't need it I wasn't gonna give her another one. Maybe if she didn't have such a bad attitude problem I would've gave in, but hell if she wants to be pathetic and moan about a bag I aint gonna stop her. I was getting paid for it man :D


14) I scan the items, I don't choose the price. So don't moan at me about how much everything is when our shop is a lot cheaper on a lot of things compared to places like Boots and Tesco. And if you're buying a tonne of heavy stuff, don't be a cheapskate. You can buy a strong, reusable bag for fucking 10p. I really cannot be bothered to pack all your shit for you to then ask/tell me to "double bag" it.


15) I will pack bags on the express tills as we have to. But if I'm on a normal till and there's 2/3+ of you standing there and one of me, do you honestly think I'm gonna pack it for you?! Hell no. You managed to walk round the whole store getting what you want, if I've gotta scan it all then you can pack it yourself.




....So, it's not all bad. Working at this particular store has put a major dent in my faith in humanity and my patience for dealing with fucktards, but there are some really nice customers (like 1 in a 1000 but hey ho) who make you smile :) It's almost guaranteed that they're closely followed by a complete cunt with a moody look on their face since you have the cheek to chat with someone who's treated you with respect and like a human being but it does make a nice change. For example, I served a sweet old lady who obviously had some sight problems and after I counted her change it was clear that she'd have to pay with a note instead, and rather than just chucking her change back into her purse once I'd put the transaction through I put the coins in one part and folded up the fiver and put it with her other notes in another part of the purse. This tbh, wasn't exactly a big deal and didn't put me out at all, but she asked me if I had a nana and when I said yes she said she knew I did because of how sweet I'd been to her. Now, how lovely is that?! :)